I hate to be the bearer of bad news (just as I hate to be the wearer of bad shoes) BUT this blog comes with a homework assignment. For you.
As some of you know, my novel is with my agent, Rebecca, perhaps going to Fat Camp . . . probably getting Botox injections. . . . definitely spending a few afternoons with a fashion consultant before Rebecca tries to sell it to a publisher. It is a long process. I used to wonder why so many writers were mild-to-moderately nutters. Now I know.
Meanwhile, while I (try to) wait ever so patiently, I have been cleaning our garage, sorting through Buddy’s and Sweetie’s closets, plucking my chin whisker, purchasing books like String Theory for Dummies and When It Gets Dark: an Enlightened Reflection on Life with Alzheimer’s (apparently one of the narrators of my next novel is a ten-year-old physics nut; his grandfather, who seems to want to co-narrate, has Alzheimer’s). In between feeling lame that I can’t understand a Dummies book AND feeling like I most certainly have early-onset Alzheimer’s, I have also been thinking about doing a book trailer for my book.
Which is where YOU and your HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT come in.
. . . which I do not.
BUT! As someone who was nutters enough to spend so long writing one book, I am also nutters enough to believe, suspect, hope, pray that it will get published. At which point, yes, I will need a book trailer.
The skinny nutshell of my novel:
Between the Sun and the Oranges is narrated by thirteen-year-old Lucy Bains, a precocious and socially awkward high school freshman. When Lucy is not working on creating the mathematical equation that will help her understand Love, or honing her original mime skits such as Climbing Mt. Everest! and Chased by My Own Shadow!, she focuses on her most daunting task: earning the affection of her emotionally distant mother.
And so on and so forth.
But here’s my plan. Because I don’t think I can get this guy to just talk about the plot of my book, I think it would be cool to have a book trailer that includes a bunch of LOVE EQUATIONS and LOVE THEORIES and LOVE DEFINITIONS.
Please? Will you help me? Some of you are writers, other of you are science and engineering and math people. There’s a lovely array of artists and musicians and Moms and teachers. A few of you are probably cats, so yes, you’ll bring an interesting perspective to the Love table. Some of you are my parents (Hi, Mom and Dad), and others are former students who, if you managed to sneak through my class without actually reading any novels OR if you perhaps didn’t work to your potential (and you know I know who you are), this is a good time to redeem yourself.
I don’t care if you’re not a “creative person” or a “smart-in-that-way” kind of person. That’s a load of carp. Everyone’s creative. Quit your whining and do the darn assignment.
Some of you recall that I floated this assignment a while back, via Facebook, and got some great ideas. Thank you! You are excused from this assignment.
For those of you who still need to complete the assignment, here are some suggestions. You might come up with a poem/limerick (as the lovely Audrey R. did). You might do what my teacher-friend, Laura, did when she asked her eighth graders to do her homework for her. Those kids had brilliant theories. You can create some sort of math or science equation, an acrostic poem, a visual symbol, a haiku, the name of a new Ben and Jerry’s ice cream flavor . . . anything that you think helps define, explain, elucidate, measure, calculate, clarify LOVE.
Feel free to ask your kids or your grandmother. The young and the no-longer-so-young are great, untapped wells of wisdom. Ask your teacher or your rabbi or your gardener. The more the merrier, the more the richer.
If you want to post your comment in a private way,Friend me on Facebook and send me a private message. Need some inspiration? Read this.
Many thanks to you all. I know I say this often, but it means so much to know you are reading.